


Lean On Me

by TheHomestuckWhovian



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Attempted Murder, Blood, M/M, Michael is Deadpool and Jeremy is Spiderman, Presumed Dead, Spiderman and Deadpool AU, Violence, featuring angst because I'm a little shit, poor rich
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-23 06:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11397066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHomestuckWhovian/pseuds/TheHomestuckWhovian
Summary: Michael Mell died in a house fire while home alone, a result of faulty wiring.Yeah, total bullshit.Both the functionally unkillable Deadpool and the menace of New Jersey Spiderman know the truth. And it's up to them to work together to take down Michael's murderer, without revealing their secrets.(Like the fact that Spiderman knows both the victim and the murderer personally, or that Deadpool knows for a fact that Michael is not as gone as everyone thinks.)





	1. Two Months Before

**Author's Note:**

> That summary should give you a good idea of the shenanigans that are gonna go on.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some needed backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I looked at the usual Spiderman and Deadpool aus for Be More Chill. And my first thought was, "How can I make this sadder?"
> 
> Here is my answer.

" _Lean on me, when you're not strong. And I'll be your friend. I'll help you carry on._ "

Michael was usually soothed by the sound of Bill Withers singing his favorite song, but this time all he could think about was how Jeremy used to sing it loudly and off-key to cheer him up when he was sad. But he must have been a masochist, because instead of skipping, he closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch.

" _For it won't be long, 'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on._ "

The words still stuck in his mind, and Michael could hear them on repeat even as the song drowned out all other noise.

_Loser_.

" _Please swallow your pride, if I have things you need to borrow. For no one can fill those of your needs that you won't let show._ "

Suddenly his air supply was cut off and he was lifted in the air. His headphones slipped off onto the floor, and Michael hoped they weren't broken.

Right, priorities. Like the fact that Rich Goranski is not only choking him with one hand, but that the hand is searing hot and it hurts so fucking much that if Michael could breathe he still wouldn't be able to speak.

"It is too dangerous to leave you alive," Rich says, but Rich never sounds that formal and his eyes have never glowed blue and holy shit this wasn't Rich. "I was hoping to avoid this, but since your presence throws a wrench in my plans, my best hope is to eliminate you and erase your presence from Jeremy's life."

Michael clawed at Rich's hand, and the boy twitched, his eyes dulling for a moment and a look of horror crossed his face. His grip loosened in that moment, allowing him a moment to breathe before it tightened again and it burned like someone placed hot iron against his throat like a brand.

"You are a stubborn one, Michael Mell," the voice coming out of Rich's body remarks, calm and cool in contrast to the usually animated boy. "It will be my pleasure to make sure you do not stand between me and my plans for Jeremy."

Michael's vision began to go dark, and he finally fell limp, unable to keep fighting. The last thing he experienced before completely falling unconscious was the smell of smoke.

* * *

Jeremy had made a decision.

He was going to tell his dad that he no longer wanted to go to his current therapist. He would go talk to Michael and apologize for what he did. He'd tell him everything, all the way back to that spider bite months ago. And he'd never go back to that office again.

He was about to call his dad when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Jeremy!" It was Christine. "You need to get over here! Rich arrived and he is rambling and talking about doing something terrible and needing Mountain Dew Red and he has these burns and his eyes are flashing and I don't know what is going on! You should get here soon because I don't know if I can figure this out on my own!"

Christine hung up and Jeremy was frozen for a moment before blinking.

Mountain Dew Red...didn't Michael leave a bottle of the stuff last time he was here?

Jeremy immediately got moving, barely noticing the sound of sirens in the distance.

* * *

He arrived at Christine's with the bottle of 90s soda and was dragged inside.

Rich was on the couch, shaking and rambling about something as his eyes flashed between glowing blue and their natural color.

Jeremy handed him the bottle, saying, "Here, for you."

Rich held the bottle tightly, quickly chugging until the drink was halfway done. There was almost a shudder as he relaxed, his eyes no longer glowing at all. There was a sigh of relief and Rich took a deep, shuddering breath before handing Jeremy the bottle.

"Thank you," he muttered.

Christine began looking at Rich's burns, asking, "What happened?"

"I don't know," Rich admitted. "I was walking when suddenly everything was yanked from my control. I woke up a few blocks away but all I could think was I needed them out and that I must have done something terrible." Rich blinked as his voiced changed while he talked. "That's...that is the first time in forever I lisped and wasn't shocked by them."

Christine and Jeremy blinked, and Christine asked gently, "Who has been shocking you when you lisp, Rich?" She seemed to barely be in control of her anger as she healed one of Rich's burns, leaving behind a scar before moving on.

Rich made eye contact with Jeremy, saying, "My therapist, Mx. Squip."

Jeremy's blood ran cold, and he asked, "What?"

"They gave me this pill, saying it'll help me out to retain what they taught me. But suddenly I could hear them telling me what to do all the time, shocking me if I did something wrong, and even controlling my body."

_This person has no records Jeremy! Nothing showing them at any of the schools they claimed to have gone to to get their degree. This Samuel Squip doesn't exist! Don't you think you should be suspicious, especially with all this they are telling you to do. Therapists aren't supposed to say the things they said to you, Jeremy!_

"At first I just went with it. I thought that they were just looking out for me. But then I started passing out, and when I woke up a fire would have happened." Rich shrugged. "I...I have had fire powers since I was little, but I only told them about it."

_I got this weird spider bite last week._

_Have you noticed any strange side effects?_

_...No. Not at all._

He didn't feel comfortable even telling his therapist about the fact that he was now a freak. The only reason Christine knew is because she was there when he first used his new abilities, happily telling him how cool his powers were and how she had powers of her own.

"And they gave me the pill the next appointment. I realized they were using me to do their dirty work. I eventually learned Mountain Dew Red would stop them. But then today...it was worse today.

"I remember briefly waking up and I was holding someone by their throat, using my powers to burn them as I did. I tried to release them but they took control again. It tires them out so when I woke up again I did my best to get here and ask for help. Then you brought the Mountain Dew Red and disconnected them. I...I think I killed someone."

Christine sat beside Rich, saying, "We need to figure out a place you can stay, Rich. They must know you came here and with your dad...Jeremy, can he stay at your house? With your abilities, I'm sure he'd be safe there."

"Yeah, my dad will probably be fine with you sleeping on the couch. If not, we can probably arrange with you to stay with Jake, Rich." He was going to ask more questions when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Jeremy!"

He blinked with surprise. "Mrs. Mell?"

"Is Michael with you?!"

Jeremy never expected a phone call to send his life crashing down.

* * *

He woke up in unbearable pain.

His lungs hurt. Every exposed part of his body was literally on fire and the pain was so overwhelming he wanted to cry. Adrenaline was likely the only reason he made it onto his two feet.

The entire house was on fire, collapsing around him. He stumbled through, gritting his teeth through the pain as he made his way to the back door, collapsing a couple yards from the house and sobbing in pain.

It took him a minute to realize that his skin was healing rapidly, repairing the damage. He watched with wide eyes as wounds closed and the pain subsided. Even the pain in his lungs from smoke inhalation faded until he wasn't even coughing.

"The fuck?" he muttered, looking over his hands with awe.

He felt his throat, where Rich had been holding him. Burn scars were there, the only sign of injury from tonight. He sobbed with relief, unable to believe that he wasn't dead.

He had heard of superpowers appearing in intense situations, but he never imagined that he'd get these kind of powers.

Someone tried to kill him, using Rich to do so. If smoke inhalation and more burns on his body than most doctors see in their entire medical careers hadn't done him in, he imagined bullets or any other method wouldn't either. And if they found out they couldn't kill him...who would be next?

He couldn't risk his parents or Jeremy getting hurt. He couldn't risk the person who manipulated Rich knowing he survived and why. Even if Jeremy had left him behind or his parents never even remembered to tell him Happy Birthday, they didn't need to be dragged into this.

So he stood up, took one last forlorn glance at the house he had grown up in, and left. He had to figure out who tried to off him, and how to use this power to fuck them over.

Whoever tried to kill him would learn exactly how stubborn Michael Mell could be.


	2. That Would Be Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy would never say his coping mechanisms were the healthiest.

Spiderman was carrying a severed hand.

Most people, when carrying a disembodied appendage, would be freaked out, or screaming, or at least disgusted. But not Spiderman. Oh no.

Why?

Because this was the third time this week.

He was just thankful he managed to spot it while heading in the direction of the fight. If he had missed it, Deadpool would be forced to regrow his hand, which apparently took longer than reattaching it.

Christine was also used to this. So was Rich. Jenna was not.

"Rich, make sure to hold back her hair, okay?" Christine could be heard faintly saying before telling Jeremy, "So it's the sword guy again, as we figured. I don't know how long Jenna will be so I'll record the fight to allow her to get a good look if she isn't done so-oh, she's coming back."

Jeremy stopped paying attention to their conversation as he landed on a nearby rooftop, watching as Deadpool fought the Swordsman with only one hand.

The Swordsman was a normal guy with basic sword knowledge who also just happened to possess a sword that cut through steel like butter despite appearing duller than a butter knife. Despite being mediocre at best, it was thanks to that sword that they hadn't been able to get him for a week.

That was why Jenna was watching with Christine and Rich, trying to get a good look at the sword.

She hummed curiously, before saying, "Watch the sword as he slashes at Deadpool."

He obeyed, watching the dull sword flash blue through the slash and fading quickly as the Swordsman dodged Deadpool slashing with his left hand. Jenna mumbled something, seeming confused.

"I recognize this," she explained. "Experimental technology, meant to prevent workplace accidents when cutting metal. The energy lighting up the blade allows it to slice through anything it couldn't go through normally. On the surface using it as a weapon seems like a good idea, since it can cut through anything. But in such a small scale that sword should be painful to hold when activated, since there is no proper way to prevent the energy from reaching the user. I don't understand how he has been able to repeatedly use it."

"If he is squipped, that means they have made him unable to feel pain," Christine noted. Jeremy looked closer and could see blood running down from the Swordsman's hand. That seemed to confirm it.

Deadpool barely dodged another slash and Jeremy twitched, about to jump into battle. He didn't want to leave the other hero alone for this.

"Don't." Jenna said firmly, causing him to freeze. "The blood means his grip on the sword won't be secure. Adjust the strength of your spinnerets then shoot it out of his hand when you have an opening. Don't do it when the blade is activated though, or the blade will cut through the silk and you'll lose the element of surprise. Use those reflexes and time it just right."

Deadpool's next dodge threw him off balance, and the Swordsman lifted his sword to slash at him while he was vulnerable. Jeremy fired.

The blade smacked against the wall, attached by webs. Before the Swordsman could retrieve it, Deadpool swung his leg out and tripped him up, before sitting on him with a smug smile.

"Need a hand?" Jeremy called, holding up Deadpool's disembodied hand. He heard the three behind the scenes groaning at the terrible joke.

Deadpool looked up at him, remarking cheerfully, "Oh hey, you found it! Thought I'd have to regrow this one!" He held up his stump and waved.

Jeremy tossed the hand to Deadpool before jumping down, approaching the criminal and the hero on top of him. The Swordsman was jolting, and Jeremy winced in sympathy. Rich had talked about the punishment that Mx. Squip used frequently, shocking for even minor offenses.

Deadpool stood and Jeremy used his spinnerets to restrain the Swordsman. The former was holding his severed hand to his wrist, waiting patiently for it to heal as Jeremy grabbed the sword, looking over it.

It wouldn't be very useful to him. Even if he could withstand the damage of holding it, he wasn't trained with swords. But...

"Want it?" he asked Deadpool, holding it out. "You'll have to clean the blood off of it, but you'd be able to handle the pain of holding it."

"Woah, nice!" Deadpool grinned under the mask, Jeremy only barely able to tell he was doing so, saying, "Sheath it for me? I gotta hold my hand here a bit longer. It'll replace my sword this guy cut in half." He seemed really cheerfully for having to reattach his hand, but that was Deadpool for you.

Jeremy placed it in the sheath, asking, "Are you okay, man? Third time you've gotten a surprise amputation this week."

Deadpool carefully released his hand, made a few gestures to test out how it was functioning, then gave him finger guns. "All good. I think I'm used to it at this point. But hey, wanna grab a slushy and hang out for a bit?"

Jeremy shook his head, admitting, "I appreciate it man, but I should probably get home. Shit to do tomorrow. We can't all be full time superheroes."

"Alright. Good luck."

He waved goodbye before slinging away.

* * *

Jeremy slid back into his room, pulling off his mask and gloves before changing into pajamas. He's have to find some time to clean the Spiderman suit eventually, but right now he didn't want to risk waking up his dad while trying to wash his secret vigilante suit.

His dad had really been trying as of the past two months, even if he had his bad days. He had worn pants more in the past two months than in the year before everything had gone to shit. He guessed that his dad was trying to step up after Jeremy's loss.

Jeremy laid in bed, before turning to his bedside table and removing a familiar pair of white headphones, his fingers tracing the R and L on the ears before he slid them on and plugged them into his phone, pressing shuffle before lying down in bed.

It's Quiet Uptown began to play, and Jeremy reminisced.

The past two months had been...a lot. From the moment he got that phone call from Michael's mother, he knew that things weren't going to ever be the same. He remembered dropping the phone, dazed and in denial. Christine had to pick it up, talking to Michael's mother and learned that way. Rich didn't even need to be told. He had begun crying, realizing who he had killed. That moment was a shock for all three of them.

Michael had died thinking Jeremy wanted nothing to do with him.

And they knew exactly who's fault it was.

_It's just a dream_.

The next week was horrible. Jeremy walked as though he was in a daze. His friends offered support. His dad put on pants. They all went to his funeral, his friends having never known Michael Mell but knowing how much he meant to Jeremy.

_It's just a dream._

He felt trapped, unable to move forward. Unable to see any point. What's the point of a Player 2 without a Player 1? What was he to think he could make it without his best friend? How could he have allowed himself to be convinced that Michael wasn't worth it? Michael was worth more than Jeremy Heere ever could be. And now he was dead and Jeremy couldn't even tell him how fucking important he was.

_It's just a dream._

He went to therapy again. And the words didn't even reach him. All he could think of was how Mx. Squip forced Rich to kill his best friend. All because Jeremy wanted out of this sick cycle. He hated them. He hated himself. He hated this game.

It was time to quit playing.

_It's just a dream._

It was just an idea at first. An unhealthy coping mechanism. He put on a dumb blue spandex morph suit and kicked the ass of a trying to mug a woman, then a guy trying to assault another guy, then nearly got his ass kicked by a third guy.

_It's just a dream_.

Christine found out. She got mad. But then Rich suggested something.

He knew some of Squip's contacts. Apparently they had a huge network of underground contacts and dirty politicians, and Rich knew he'd be dead if he tried to tell anyone they considered important. But he couldn't fight back because they knew his powers.

Christine agreed, offering to act as medic and run things behind the scenes. It took a lot less effort than Jeremy had thought, but she was full of righteous anger at what happened to Rich and Michael, and she wanted Squip taken down as much as Jeremy did.

_It's just a dream_.

Jenna was brought in first. Jeremy needed a nonlethal weapon and a better mode of transportation than the incredibly slow power of crawling on walls. Jenna was good with technology and the obvious choice. She created the affectionately named spinnerets, which shot a substance stronger than steel and could work as weapon, grappling hook, restraints, and safety nets for falling. The name came from the organs in spiders that produced silk. She also got an earpiece for Jeremy to wear so Christine and Rich could keep in contact with him while he was out in the field.

Brooke got involved when Jeremy's morph suit was badly ripped and needed fixing. She took one look at it after everything was explained and told him she wasn't going to let him wear that anymore, and would be making him a real superhero costume. She turned Jeremy from a dumb guy in a shitty morph suit to a guy who dressed like a goddamn superhero. A dark red and blue suit, with web patterns all over and a symbol on his chest. Over his eyes were white panels that provided great visibility. It was more comfortable and easier to work with than the morph suit, and the gloves and mask were their own separate pieces to allow him to wear the costume under his clothes. Brooke was the true superhero here.

Brooke told Chloe, of fucking course, and it was Chloe who approached them, offering to provide excuses for Jeremy. How? She volunteered to be his Chemistry tutor. She was great at science while Jeremy was mediocre at best with a possibility of slipping. Not only would she actually help him keep up with his homework, but she'd easily claim he was at her house to work on homework.

Jake got involved when Jeremy was too injured to get himself to Christine. He was their only friend with his own car and no one who'd question him for using it, so Christine called him and explained everything. Jake wasn't happy that he had been out of the loop, but after seeing Jeremy he changed his mind. Jake had decided to teach Jeremy some martial arts, one of the activities he had participated in, so he wasn't just relying on basically brawling.

If it weren't for his friends, Spiderman wouldn't be anything but a guy in a shitty morph suit wailing on a bunch of petty criminals.

_It's just a dream._

Those first weeks were intense, because the contacts weren't like those people he had gotten to at first. While waiting for Jake that first time he got too injured to move, he realized he might die doing this. That one day he'd go out and never get to go back.

But he thought about Michael. And it made him determined to keep doing this. Because he'd rather die taking down the person who killed his best friend in some dumb attempt to get him to obey than just sit around and let them win.

Michael died thinking Jeremy wanted nothing to do with him, and Jeremy would do everything to prove exactly how much Michael meant to him.

_It's just a dream._

" _If I could spare his life. If I could trade his life for mine. He'd be standing here right now, and you would smile. And that would be enough._ "

Jeremy pressed skip on his phone. He wasn't sure he could deal with that song right now.

_It wasn't just a dream. It was a nightmare._

He just wished he could go to bed and, when he woke, Michael would be there, ready to go play Apocalypse of the Damned and drink slushies and listen to him ramble on about his crush on Christine. But Michael was gone, they were eternally stuck at level 9, and he didn't even like Christine that way anymore.

_He couldn't wake up from this._

He took a deep breath, before looking at his bedside table. On it was a Pac-Man patch he had been planning to put on his cardigan with Michael's help before all of this went down, a letter to his dad (which he hoped would never be read), and a photo strip with two familiar masked faces.

He smiled at the last one, picking it up.

Deadpool had insisted upon it, saying it would be fun. The two did silly poses and had a lot of fun before Jeremy had to go home, and each took one of the two strips given.

For the past month he had been fighting with Deadpool, and honestly he hadn't trusted him before. But after weeks of fighting with him and having to have each other's back, he managed to.

Deadpool was funny and managed to outshine Jeremy's sarcasm by a lot. He kept up the light humor no matter how tough the battle was, and Jeremy would be the first to admit that this was all much easier with him there.

He, unlike Jeremy, was also a full time superhero. Jeremy was impressed, if a little concerned for Deadpool's living situation. Being a superhero didn't end with much money in your pocket. It did mean that Deadpool was either on the scene first or arrived not long after Jeremy did.

Jeremy wasn't going to lie. He was pretty sure he'd be dead now if it wasn't for Deadpool.

Soft instrumental music drifted through the headphones now, and Jeremy finally relaxed.

He wasn't okay. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be okay again. But he wasn't alone and that made it easier to get through it all.

That was all he could ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jeremy.


	3. All Your Money Won't Another Minute Buy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy runs into someone while walking home alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit this chapter is over 3k how did I manage that?

" _I close my eyes only for a moment, and the moment's gone. All my dreams pass before my eyes, a curiosity._ "

Jeremy felt sometimes that he must be a masochist, considering he didn't immediately skip Dust In The Wind when it started playing. Instead, he turned it up, allowing it to drown out the sounds around him. Pull away from reality and focus on the music.

It was a great song either way.

" _Dust in the wind. All they are is dust in the wind._ "

Jeremy was starting to cross the road, not sparing a glance to the traffic in his distraction.

" _Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea. All we do crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see._ "

He felt a hand grab his cardigan and yank him backwards out of the way of the oncoming car, which honked at him. He blinked in surprise and looked behind him at the person who pulled him out of the way and now back into an alley.

" _Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind._ "

Deadpool was there, still holding his cardigan. He seemed to be breathing heavily, almost as if he had been panicking for a moment there. Jeremy slid the headphones from his ears, realizing it would be hard to hear him with the headphones and the mask keeping him from reading his lips.

"Jesus man, you nearly got hit," Deadpool muttered, and Jeremy blinked. It was rare to hear Deadpool sound anything other than cheerful and almost optimistic in the face of the things they faced on a weekly basis. Even getting his hand chopped off, Deadpool maintained a cheerful attitude. But right now he looked nervous and almost scared because Jeremy had almost been hit by a car.

"Uh...sorry?" he said, unsure how to respond. "Thanks for saving my ass though? I appreciate it." He gave a kind of awkward smile, unsure how to act around Deadpool without giving away his identity.

"Just...be more careful."

Jeremy nodded, before asking, "Can you let go of my cardigan please?"

Deadpool realized he was still holding it and let go, saying, "Shit, sorry." Jeremy tilted his head, a bit concerned. Deadpool was never this awkward around Spiderman. Was he doing something to make him feel awkward right now?

"It's fine," he quickly assured. "No big deal! Um, I'm Jeremy?"

"...Deadpool."

"Well, thanks for saving me, Deadpool," Jeremy remarked, smiling to show there were no hard feelings. "I've got to go meet some friends of mine right now. Later!"

"Yeah, uh, later!"

Jeremy walked away, still a bit confused, before shrugging and sliding the headphones back on. Dust in the Wind was now just ending and he realized he was probably going to be late to meet everyone.

* * *

Jeremy sat down in the chair at Pinkberry, where everyone but Jake and Rich were waiting for him. Jenna pulled up her computer and opened Google Hangouts, Rich and Jake appearing on screen, before clicking Share Screen and going through her files.

"So, I've been doing research into some of Squip's political contacts. No connection through party or most policies they support. But I found that all of them agreed to increase funding for one specific lab, which apparently tests the affects of certain drugs on lab mice. All attempts into a background check on all involved scientists have proven unsuccessful. Like Squip, they have no background." Jenna pulled up a file showing names.

"I recognize a couple of names," Rich noted. "I may have been to that lab before but I don't remember what I was doing there. Squip knocked me out sometimes after telling me to go specific places."

"I don't think we should risk sending Jeremy there without some idea of the security this place has," Christine noted. "Even with Deadpool, I think we'll have to wait and get more information first. What do you think, Jeremy?"

"I think you're right, Christine," Jeremy agreed, shrugging his shoulders. "Not only should we wait for more information, but I should talk to Deadpool and get his perspective too. I don't want to make any decisions without his okay, since he is probably going to be taking most of the punishment." Immune to dying didn't mean immune to pain after all.

"I want to add some updates to your costume too," Brooke added, gesturing with her spoon for emphasis. "Jenna and I've been working on some material that might help keep you safe out there."

Chloe nodded. "Once we've got a date, I'll organize something so nobody's parents are concerned. Maybe a massive sleepover? Christine, can your set up be moved to my house for a night?"

"I'm not sure, but Jenna and I could probably put something together."

Jeremy allowed the group to discuss logistics for the sleepover/sting operation, sliding Michael's headphones back on and pressing shuffle again, smiling a little as Bulletproof by La Roux started playing.

He could now see why Michael wore headphones all the time. It was privacy when surrounded by people, calm in a battlefield of teenage angst and anxiety. Retreat into your own world and you won't get overwhelmed by all the people around you. Everything might be falling apart around you, but put on those headphones and turn on the music and you could withdraw from that.

" _This time baby, I'll be bulletproof._ "

Michael had always been smarter than Jeremy. And stronger.

He thought about all the things Squip said in order to tear him down, betting Michael wouldn't have fallen for it, or abandoned his best friend because of what they said. He remembered the semicolon on Michael's wrist and knew he probably wouldn't have been strong enough to get through that. Where did that strength come from? How did Michael push through those things?

_Life sucks, man. But you make it suck less. It's kind of like a two player video game. We have to fight together to win!_

Jeremy didn't want to think about the possibility that he was the reason Michael stayed strong. Because he had proven to be unreliable in the end. Because he had left him behind, refused to listen to his warnings about Squip, _insulted him_. Jeremy has never deserved a friend like Michael, and Michael deserved a better friend than him.

You couldn't rely on one person for everything. Especially Jeremy. Because Jeremy was easily pushed to leave in the end.

Squip was wrong about many things. But they weren't wrong about one.

_Everything about me is so terrible._

"Jeremy?"

He slid the headphones off, asking, "Yeah?"

Brooke gave him a look as if she knew what he had been thinking before saying, "You never got any frozen yogurt. Want me to buy you some?"

"Oh, you don't-"

"I want to, Jeremy," she said, her tone serious. "Now, I think you'd be a pomegranate fan. With Oreo pieces, cherries, and chocolate syrup on top?"

He nodded slowly, and Brooke smiled, getting up to him some.

"So Jeremy, how did you do on that chemistry test?" Chloe asked, leaning on her hand. Jeremy wondered if she and Brooke were trying to distract him, pull him out of his thoughts. Was he so easy to read that they could all tell that he was starting to slip?

Jeremy gave a small smile. "I actually got an A. I don't know if I could've passed a chemistry test before all this without your help."

"You're the one putting effort into knowing the material better," Chloe remarked, waving her hand to indicate it was no big deal. "I'm simply helping you out with that. Besides, considering all the stuff you have to do, the fact that you are keeping up is impressive."

Christine elbowed him lightly, asking, "So what took you so long to get here?"

Jeremy flushed, saying, "Just...um...got a bit caught up in something. No big deal." He didn't want to exactly tell them that he nearly got himself hit by a car, considering they were already worrying enough about him.

Jenna leaned in, grinning mischievously. "That's not what your face is telling us, Miah."

Jesus Christ, he really was that easy to read!

"So, did you bump into a cute girl?" Brooke asked with a smirk, setting his paper bowl with frozen yogurt in front of him. He quickly took a spoonful to give himself an excuse not to answer his nosy as fuck friends. "Oh, come on Jeremy. I'm sure Jenna won't tell anyone."

Jeremy wanted to bury his face in the frozen yogurt, both because he was embarrassed as fuck and because holy shit, this was fucking delicious. He took a bite and smiled at the taste. Okay, he could understand why Brooke loved Pinkberry so much. He took another bite and shook his head, gesturing to his mouth as an excuse.

Christine shook her head at Jeremy's antics, saying, "Come on. We won't even tell Rich if you tell us."

Jeremy swallowed the yogurt and sighed. "If I tell you guys one thing about what happened, will you lay off?"

They nodded excitedly, and he sighed.

"I didn't bump into a girl. I bumped into a guy."

The four blinked, then grinned evilly. Jeremy added quickly, "That's it. That's all you get. And you can't tell Rich, or anyone. Got it? Jesus."

"Ah, I'm just so happy you are finally admitting your bisexuality," Christine said in her most mom-ish voice that Jeremy wanted to sigh. "Anybody would be lucky to have you for a boyfriend."

"No worries, Miah," Jenna assured, smiling happily. "I'll be as silent as a giraffe."

Everyone at the table blinked.

"What? Giraffes are mute!"

The group laughed, including Jenna, and Jeremy felt a smile return to his face.

Sometimes it was better not to get lost in your own head.

* * *

Jeremy was walking away from the Pinkberry, about to pull on the headphones again when a crash grabbed his attention. He looked up to see a giant man tossing cars around and immediately moved, racing to an alley way and yanking his bag off, pulling off his clothes and pulling on the gloves and mask. Tucking the bag into a safe place, he raced out again, taking in the scene around him.

People were screaming, desperately hiding in nearby buildings. Everyone was running from the bedlam as well as they could.

"Jeremy, you're on the scene, right?" Christine asked through the earpiece, getting his attention. "Chloe and I were already out of the way of the attack. I can't see what you see until I get home but I am hearing the news. What does he look like?"

"Big hulking dude. He looks like he lives on a diet of testosterone and live bears. He's throwing around cars."

She hummed, before deciding, "Sounds like he is all strength. He'll likely be slower than you. His strength is his most dangerous feature. Keep moving, be faster and smarter. Don't let him hit you, okay? I'll see if I can get any info from Rich or add anything once I get home. Just hang on, okay?"

"Okay." With that, he got himself to a high vantage point, fired one of his spinnerets to the top of a nearby building, and swung in, using the force to kick his opponent off balance.

"I think the zoo lost a tiger," he noted as the guy regained his balance. "Did you happen to eat him?"

The guy slammed both hands downward, and Jeremy dodged, paling a bit at the cracked asphalt. Okay, maybe taunting the fucker wouldn't go so well. He dodged another attack, deciding his best plan was to keep him distracted and not throwing cars around until everyone was out of immediate danger, than go on the offensive. And hope that Deadpool got here soon.

He desperately dodged each attack, adding the occasional snarky comment as he did.

Then the guy swatted him, throwing him back, before lifting a car and tossing it towards a kid who was running across the street.

Jeremy barely managed to recover well enough to act quickly, shooting one of his spinnerets at his feet to keep them planted and the other at the car and yanking backward, pulling it away from the kid just as a familiar red suited hero dove forward, grabbing the kid and rolling out of the way. He sighed with relief, thanking god for Deadpool, right before getting kicked, sending him to the ground painfully.

He pushed himself up, lifting his mask to spit blood out of his mouth before readjusting it, turning around.

"No more playing around, huh?" he said, smirking under his mask. "Let's do this then."

He fired his spinneret, attaching himself to a building before firing again and swinging towards the villain, kicking him in the face solidly. He dodged a punch, grabbed the asshole's shoulders and yanked him down hard, bringing his knee up to meet his face. He stepped back to avoid a sloppy hit before shooting a spinneret to the ass' face, blinding him momentarily.

"You alright man?" Deadpool asked, running up to him. "That looked like a bad hit?"

"I'm good," Jeremy said, rolling his shoulders back. Ouch, dammit. "Glad you're here though. This fucker is gonna go down."

The two fistbumped before diving back into the fight as the man finally ripped the webs from his face.

Deadpool pulled one of his swords from the sheath and took a stance, remarking cheerfully, "I'm gonna be nice and give you the not completely lethal sword, buddy." Then he ran at the fucker, dodging a frantic swing as he got behind the guy and sliced the back of his calves, sending him onto his knees. He then slammed the flat side of the sword into the back of the man's head, dazing him.

Jeremy gave a solid palm strike to the guy's face, pulled him down by the shoulders to send his face straight into Jeremy's lifted knee, then grabbed his arms and forced them behind his back, using his spinnerets to restrain his arms up to the elbows. He shoved him to the ground.

"You're squipped, aren't you?" Jeremy quietly said to the dazed man. The man's eyes started glowing blue, and he jolted, clearly being shocked for his failure.

Deadpool tossed a flask to Jeremy, who caught it easily as he said clearly, "Nice try, Squip. Well we aren't going to go down easily. So next time, don't get innocent people involved, you son of a bitch." Then Jeremy opened the flask and poured it into the man's mouth. The glow faded and he finally passed out.

It was a good thing Deadpool always carried Mountain Dew Red on him now.

He stood up, telling the fellow hero, "I know you probably want to hang out, but I'm gonna need to take care of my wounds. Sometime soon, okay?"

"No worries, Spidey," Deadpool assured him, punching his bicep lightly. "Take care of yourself, okay? See you later?"

"Yeah. Later!"

With that Jeremy slung away, heading to grab his clothes before going to Christine's.

* * *

Jeremy was lying on Christine's couch as she healed him while Rich and Chloe talked.

"So you didn't know the specific guy?" Chloe asked Rich.

"No, but I bet he is from the labs that Jenna mentioned earlier," Rich explained. "Which is another reason that Jeremy should wait. If there are more guys like that as their security, Jeremy should be fully prepared. One gave him a bit of trouble. I'd hate to see what would happen if he faced ten."

"As well as Deadpool," Jeremy piped up from the couch.

Rich nodded in agreement. "Yeah yeah, we'll make that you both are fully prepared, _Spidey_."

Jeremy flushed a bit, earning a snicker from Chloe. Christine, despite seeming tired from the healing, managed to give an affronted gasp. "Jeremy! How could you betray the boy you bumped into earlier?"

"What's this?" Rich asked, a smirk on his face.

"Christiiiiiiine," Jeremy whined, even brighter red than before. "You promised you wouldn't tell him."

Christine patted Jeremy on the head gently, saying, "Stop whining and let me finish healing you up so you can go home, okay Spidey?"

Jeremy sighed, muttering, "I never gave any of you permission to use that nickname."

It was in his personal opinion that there were some nicknames exclusive to certain people. Jenna was the only person who called him Miah, Christine held exclusive rights to Jerry, Brooke, Chloe, Rich, and Jake called him Jer affectionately, Private was an inside joke between him and his dad, and _no one_ was allowed to call him Jer-Bear anymore (Because if someone did, Jeremy wasn't sure he wouldn't break down right on the spot because that was what _Michael_ used to call him). Spidey was a Deadpool exclusive nickname and it felt weird to be called that by his friends.

Christine yawned, saying, "Welp, I finished up. You weren't too badly injured thankfully. I'd hate to have to divide up healing sessions." She looked at Chloe, asking, "You'll drive these two back to the Heeres' before you go home please? I'm too tired."

"You got it, Chris." Chloe gestured for Jeremy to get up, and as he did he grabbed the white headphones, sliding them around his neck for comfort after a long, stressful day. He didn't plug them into his phone; Chloe would be very offended if Jeremy listened to his own music in the car instead of hers. He didn't need to have them playing music to get comfort out of them really.

Michael was gone, but these headphones provided a shadow of the same comfort the boy himself used to give, and Jeremy would take a shadow over nothing. He could almost imagine Michael slinging an arm over his shoulders as he followed Chloe and Rich outside to Chloe's car, calling him Jer-Bear with the faint sounds of Bob Marley coming from his headphones. He could almost close his eyes and pretend nothing changed, that it was just the two of them against the world again. Before Squip. Before the fire. Before Jeremy was bitten.

"Jeremy?"

He looked up at Chloe, who was gesturing for him to get in the back of the car. Ah, Rich must have called shotgun. Jeremy gave an unsteady smile and climbed in, leaning against the door once it closed and looking out the window. And in the back of his mind, he finished the song from earlier.

_Now, don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky. It slips away, and all your money won't another minute buy. Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind._

_Dust in the wind. Everything is dust in the wind._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I shouldn't make this entirely an angst fest. Gotta add some less angsty shit and give my children a break.  
> Also Me: *makes the song for this chapter fucking Dust In The Wind by Kansas because I might be a genuinely terrible person at this point*
> 
> So yeah, every chapter has a song relating to it. Last one was It's Quiet Uptown from Hamilton (because it is so angsty and that one bit cuts me deep). The first chapter is the only exception, since it is basically a prologue and featured the title song.
> 
> Someday, I will get my shit together...today is sadly not that day. So enjoy my trash I guess?

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry for this trash.
> 
> Updates will be irregular due to a variety of commitments I have. Please don't lose faith in me.
> 
> Tumblr is boopboopitydoop.tumblr.com.


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